GRIEF AND GROWTH FOR A NEW MAMMA- Seattle Family Photographer

15 Sept

I love birth stories and motherhood stories. The heroic and the messy, the easy and the lovely. I was born to tell stories. After sending this beautiful mamma a few sneak peaks from her maternity session with me, she wrote back and told me how special they were to her, and she told me why. I asked if she wanted to share her thoughts on this blog, and she agreed. Writing out your thoughts or grief or worries is so therapeutic and I find so much healing in it.

Emma shares what it is like to expect a second child with respect to her first born below, in her own words.

Take it away beautiful.

“Atticus, my sweet angel boy, the one who made me a mom and made me realize how strong I am. I had him at the super young age of 22. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with his father and when Atticus was just 6 months old, after a traumatic confrontation with his dad, I gathered our things and left in the middle of the night and never looked back. It was him and I from then on! I was a single mom, doing what’s best for my little boy.

He’s been my one and only for so long.. we’ve been through everything together. He isn’t a baby anymore.. and that can be a hard thing to grasp at times. Life comes with immense change and now we are about to welcome our new little addition, a new adventure in our chapter of life. It’s such a mix of emotions to feel such excitement for what’s to come and yet also feel like the biggest part of who I am was becoming Atticus’ mom. It changed me into who I wanted to be.. and I know with this little one I will continue to change into a better me.

Grief and growth goes hand in hand.. and apart of me feels I am losing something, someone who I protected for so long. I’ve recently caught myself fully plunged into old baby albums of Atticus looking at his growth all the way up to the present day and I just bawl.. weeping like the baby he once was. A true sense of heartache..

But, then I stop and think how lucky I am to have a son like him and how exciting and heartwarming to know I get to provide him with a sibling, something I’ve always wanted for him. Knowing he will be the greatest most kindest big brother ever. It brings me a sense of peace knowing this new and special page in our story will be and already has been an inspiration of love, growth and reflection. For that I am grateful for my grief.. because there will always be light, even when we feel loss. As we welcome our baby girl Nellie, I know the love I experienced with my first born will also pour over into her. I just needed time, time to feel and heal from my past.

Thank you Dawndra for allowing me to share this very crucial and deep emotion with you. I am forever grateful.

Love,

Emma”

We did this maternity session at Lincoln Park in West Seattle, a special place to all of us.

Dear Emma,

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story with me, and for choosing me as your photographer. I adore you and your beautiful family. I am so lucky to know you. Congratulations on your beautiful perfect baby girl.